The past several months have been chaotic for my little family. We just moved into our new place after living with my wonderful and generous in laws for six months. It's not always easy living with another family, but truly God was so kind to us all. We are on the other side and we are still loving one another. I will say however, that it has taken me and my husband a little bit to settle back into the routine of being "us." And this is the lesson that I have most recently been learning.
As we have been settling in to our new house I have found myself emotionally blocked from my husband. I am still not sure why, but I was having a hard time connecting and feeling any desire for him. It was easy for me to get short with him, and not show him kindness. Darren (my husband) took note and decided that we needed an evening for us.
So the other night we set aside an entire evening to get to know one onother. No tv. No computer. No phones. Just us.
It was a little bit awkward I must say. To be honest I would have rather watched an episode of Psych or something brainless like that, but my dear husband pursued me.
So we spent the evening talking about things, and reading part of a good book on marriage, we had a good solid argument (yes they are so useful sometimes), and got some things straightened out. It was as if somebody replaced my heart with a new one, and as I pondered the the past few months this is what came to mind.
The past few years my husband has told me (as a compliment) that the thing he appreciates most about me is how hard I fight for our marriage. We have always said that we would never settle for just a commited marriage where divorce is not an option. We want to strive to have "the best marriage in the world," because in this way we honor and glorify God (plus when it's good, it is real good). This takes SO MUCH WORK. And the past few months I have lost the drive to fight hard. And the godly man I call husband has fought for me.
He was kind when I was harsh. He continued to kiss me when I was not wanting to be touched because I felt just as disgusting as I looked. He told me about what he was learnining as he spent time with the Lord, when I wanted nothing more than for him to let me eat in peace and quiet. But even his words would come to me through out the day, and I was gleaning such goodness from them. God was teaching me through him.
Most of all though, he served me. He showed me (and continues) to show me unconditional love. Never in my life have I seen so clearly what Jesus was like as he served his discplies. Such gentleness, kindness, patience, joy... It amazes me that a man could love me this way after spening such good time the unlitmate Lover. I am so thankful.
As we have been settling in to our new house I have found myself emotionally blocked from my husband. I am still not sure why, but I was having a hard time connecting and feeling any desire for him. It was easy for me to get short with him, and not show him kindness. Darren (my husband) took note and decided that we needed an evening for us.
So the other night we set aside an entire evening to get to know one onother. No tv. No computer. No phones. Just us.
It was a little bit awkward I must say. To be honest I would have rather watched an episode of Psych or something brainless like that, but my dear husband pursued me.
So we spent the evening talking about things, and reading part of a good book on marriage, we had a good solid argument (yes they are so useful sometimes), and got some things straightened out. It was as if somebody replaced my heart with a new one, and as I pondered the the past few months this is what came to mind.
The past few years my husband has told me (as a compliment) that the thing he appreciates most about me is how hard I fight for our marriage. We have always said that we would never settle for just a commited marriage where divorce is not an option. We want to strive to have "the best marriage in the world," because in this way we honor and glorify God (plus when it's good, it is real good). This takes SO MUCH WORK. And the past few months I have lost the drive to fight hard. And the godly man I call husband has fought for me.
He was kind when I was harsh. He continued to kiss me when I was not wanting to be touched because I felt just as disgusting as I looked. He told me about what he was learnining as he spent time with the Lord, when I wanted nothing more than for him to let me eat in peace and quiet. But even his words would come to me through out the day, and I was gleaning such goodness from them. God was teaching me through him.
Most of all though, he served me. He showed me (and continues) to show me unconditional love. Never in my life have I seen so clearly what Jesus was like as he served his discplies. Such gentleness, kindness, patience, joy... It amazes me that a man could love me this way after spening such good time the unlitmate Lover. I am so thankful.
4 comments:
Love it! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. We have been there. I too am blessed with a husband that pursues me. I learn so much about us as Gods bride through hoe Jon treats me.
Oh Kristi we have sooo much in common, I wish we could have talk more about this today, what a blessing you have been to be this very afternoon, love you girl, lets get together again soon! BTW LOVE psych!
pure guts! and such wonderful truth. Why do we decide to "hide" when communication...honest and sometimes hard (even painful) work is where healing and "love" is actually felt and realized? I am truly moved by your words and want to thank you for 'steppin out' and having the 'guts' to speak in transparent words! I applaud you Mrs. Knott...:-) and am thankful for you
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